by Ruben Carbajal
The horrible screeching of tires. SHE (Early 40’s), frozen in an expression of terror. HE(Mid-40’s), seated next to her, pantomimes a steering wheel, carefree expression.Lighting change. HE loses the steering wheel. They address the audience directly: their delivery should be impassive, pleasant but clinical.
They begin...
SHE
Moment before impact: I'm helpless to react.
HE
(Almost jolly)I never know what hit me.
SHE
He was my best friend's husband. The one rash act of my life.
HE
(Almost Proud)Ruining one marriage while consummating the next; at the same time, is a trick.
SHE
Terrorism. Violent Crime. Poverty. Shark Attacks. Outliving our son. Balding.
HE
Things She Worried About. (BEAT) Impotence. The new VP of Sales. Physical Fights. Being Bad Father. Balding.
SHE
Things He Worried About.
HE
My whole life I'm told I'm capable of great things. I bask in my potential and accomplish nothing.
SHE
I work hard. Nose to grindstone. T's Crossed, I's dotted. I'm rarely, and mildly acknowledged.
HE (Gingerly)
I slept with interns.
SHE
Things He Thinks I Don't Know. (BEAT) I'd trade him in to have my best friend back.
HE
Things She Thinks I Don’t Know.
HE
Final score: 15,652 Days, 46,956 Meals, 2 Marriages, 2 Children, 3 Continents,17 Lovers.
SHE
Two Children?
HE
Things He or She Didn't Know.
SHE
Oh.
HE (Musing)
What a mess.
SHE (Correcting)
What a lovely mess. I’ll miss it. If it’s possible to miss anything now. Probably not.
THEY hold hands. Stare into each other’s eyes.
SHE (To the audience)
This is a dramatic conceit. When it happens, we don’t actually hold hands.
HE (To the audience)
There is no time for that.
Lighting change. Sound of screeching tires. SHE, frozen in an expression of terror. HE,holds the steering wheel, joyfully oblivious. Lights out.
PHOTO: Dangers of Driving in Central Florida by Tom Arthur via Creative Commons License(Link to artists work: http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomarthur/377947645/)
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